...ought to be somewhere else..

Only there's an arrangement to pretend that you ought to be somewhere else, so the place where you are is the place where you are always pretending you ought to be somewhere else.

random

A few days after my ultimate comeback, would you believe I still hadn't unpacked some of my stuffs? Bags, shoes and books are still in the box downstairs. I don't know where to put them. Boohoo. I'm still looking for that big big organizer or rack or cabinet or whatever that would fit in my room.

i'm hungry. no, i'm not. i'm just craving. chocolate pudding. yumyum! now that reminds me to buy eggs for the pudding i was supposed to bake a few days back.

whatever! i'm checking my email.

gotta run!

when insecurity strikes

i'm not perfect, not even close to being one. i have more flaws than assets, more defects than abilities, more weaknesses than strengths. i can give you more reasons to hate me, despise me and dislike me than i can enumerate reasons for you to feel otherwise. i couldn't give you a single reason to throw even the tiniest bit of love my way. i couldn't. i wouldn't.

cruel? masochist perhaps? indeed, i am. i can do this to myself. do you not fear what lies for you from me? i cannot love myself wholly. what makes you think i am capable of giving back to society, or to you in the very least? how can i love anybody else when nobody even dares to care?

well you said you do. you said you know how stupid, careless and weak i could get. you said you understand what i am going through. you said i never cease to amaze you, despite the negative energy that envelops me, that is. you said you love me.

as much as i don't want to, i believe you. i just hope i'm right to do so.

thank you.



disclaimer: written under the circumstances of boredom inspired by a text message. not my story. really.

would you?

when your heart battles with your mind...

when what you see opposes your principles...

when what you ought to do is something you really shouldn't...



when you want freedom but dreads responsibility...

when you yearn to explode but guilt is hovering...

when what you know is killing you...



would you dare question fate, destiny or God himself?

would you still want to know why?

or would you rather keep your silence?



when i'm on the verge of bursting...

would you stay a while and listen?

for real??

is this for real?

maybe yes. maybe no.

let's just give it a try. it may be worth it after all. ;)

cheers!

keep my head together

i would super love that.

here's the plan:
make a seriously functional to-do list on a daily or weekly basis.
make a priority list.
make all kinds of lists (to do, to accomplish, completed tasks, in progress, to be continued, rejected, whatever!).
prioritize the lists.
throw unnecessary lists.

now i am getting confused. again.

whew!

100% piscean.

As the twelfth and final sign of the occidental zodiac, Pisceans make comfortable followers. Pisces people don't find their direction easily. They are not self-propelled and they feel a certain distance from the rest of the human race. When things don't go their way, Pisceans may surrender to self-pity.

Pisces is the soul of sensitivity. Nothing escapes his notice. The faint rustle of a falling leaf that kisses the earth sounds, to a Pisces, like a huge truck smashing into a brick wall. Baby's whimpering in his crib is, to a hyper-susceptible Pisces, the wail of a thousand hungry infants. Pisces is born this way. Overly, tenderly, pricklingly, unrestrainedly sensitive. Pisceans tend toward all that is beautiful, gravitate to loveliness and crave the artistic. Pisceans are the sleepy, languorous, irresistible creators of whom we frequently don't hear a syllable. Not power-hungry, Pisceans are mostly humble and modest about achievements. They are not interested in fame. If fortune comes their way, they'll accept it. But Pisceans usually don't go after glory.

Pisceans are very proud people. They are not cocky, nor do they go around boasting of their conquests and masterpieces. Pisceans are easygoing and seem to be made of butter. Ask them to move an inch left because they're blocking your view. Without a word, Pisces shifts to the left. Suggest a new way of eating snails with a shovel. Pisces is right up there in the front of the queue, raring to please and adjust to whatever is required. But dare to challenge Pisces's deepest beliefs, disagree with his sense of taste or the spiritual tenet by which he lives, and the fish may well turn into a shark before your rapidly blinking peepers. Pisceans have profound personal integrity.

It's not uncommon for Pisceans to suffer. First, they are easily hurt. Secondly, they are afflicted with overwhelming self-doubt. Worldly accomplishment is beyond Pisces because it requires a firm connection to hard reality, which Pisces would rather avoid. Tough and ruthless competitors disguised as friendly warmhearted colleagues or companions may hoodwink the earnest Piscean and leave him beside himself in a heap of disappointment and bafflement He doesn't handle tactics or strategics well. He wants to remain aloof so he can dream and imagine and let his mind wander.

You can be sure to find Pisceans wherever the water is. Pisceans love the soothing silence of water and will go to great lengths to plunge themselves into anything from a stream to an ocean, a bathtub or a Jacuzzi.

Pisceans take all emotional involvement seriously. Whether it's a love affair or a friendship, a child-parent relationship or some other family tie, you can be sure Pisces will nurture the link. The Pisces person loves unconditionally will alter viewpoints or swim willingly in the opposite direction just to please a loved one. If you are enamored of a Pisces, grab your snorkel and flippers and paddle after your fish to the ends of the sea.




i am copy/pasting it here just because.